Importance of Mental Health Awareness, Resources, and Crisis Lines in Suicide Prevention

Trigger warning:

Suicidal Ideation, Attempt, and OD

Although sharing my experience may be a sensitive or triggering topic for some, I want to let others know that they are not alone in their struggles surrounding suicidal ideation. Hopefully by sharing my story, it can help others understand the importance mental health awareness and provide evidence that resources and crisis lines can be crucial regarding suicide prevention and intervention. It can be a lifeline, offer hope, and provide options for those struggling. 

A little bit about suicide prevention: 

Suicide prevention is about collectively supporting those who are affected by suicide- whether it comes to loss, suicidal ideation, or those who have attempted. Although suicide prevention isn’t simple, there are action steps one can take to prevent and/or mitigate crises and support those dealing with thoughts about suicide. Mental health suicide awareness plays an important role as well as reducing the stigma and making mental health care more accessible. 

The great thing is that things are changing.  More people are opening up about their experiences, there is more support out there, organizations are making a difference, there is a three digit easy to remember crisis line (988), and there is more education and resources. Although there are still so many barriers to care and sometimes it may feel like we are backsliding, the reality is that America has come a long way in regards to the way society views mental health and mental health care in general. 

My story and why I wish I knew about helplines, resources and information about mental health sooner:

In 2017, I felt lost and I was struggling with a lot of heavy emotions. I was dealing with extreme anxiety, panic attacks, depression, and grief. I tried to get help from my college’s counseling center, but I was only given a zen garden to rake as well as a few recommendations for therapists- who ended up to not be helpful. I felt incredibly alone at the time because I didn’t know of anyone who was struggling similarly. It also didn’t help that I was not aware of crisis lines and mental health resources other than going to the hospital/ ER or seeing a mental health professional- which terrified me. I felt helpless, trapped and I didn’t know how to describe the way I was feeling or how to open up about it. So I felt like my only option was to bottle up my emotions, fight my battles silently, and keep moving forward as if I wasn’t struggling. 

One night I decided to go out with my college friends and I blacked out- thankfully nothing bad had actually happened but when I woke up it felt the opposite. It felt like my world was ending and my anxiety was screaming at me. This started a war in my mind where I was simultaneously fighting suicidal thoughts and combating them at the same time. Because I was still a bit drunk and hungover from the night before, I was also unsteady and I wasn’t thinking clearly. I knew I needed help, but I didn’t know how to describe the way I was feeling or who to tell first. I felt like I didn’t have a “good enough excuse” to go to the hospital because my struggles weren’t external or visible. This made me feel trapped and like I had no other options. I thought the only way to get help was to create a reason to go to the hospital… so I took my anxiety medicine more than my prescribed dose. As I took out my pill bottle, a thought popped into my head that I shouldn’t take too much… because deep down I knew I didn’t want to die, I just didn’t want to feel this way anymore. I didn't know what would happen so I wrote a note just in case. My tears were dripping down my arms onto the paper and I was shaking. I am so thankful that my roommate/best friend was there at the time and knew something was wrong so she called my mom and took me to the ER. I don’t remember much from there, but what I do remember clearly is that I was hospitalized inpatient until I found a little bit of stability again. 

To this day I still wish mental health was talked about more back then. I wish someone explained to me what to do when you are in a mental health crisis. I wish the hotlines were more widely known and talked about. I wish there were better resources at the time to support a college student struggling with their mental health. I wish more people opened up about their experiences so I knew I wasn’t alone. And most importantly, I wish I didn’t feel like I needed to do what I did in order to get help. I really do believe that if I was more aware of other resources and more options then I wouldn’t have done what I did in order to get help. Although I would have still felt terrified and fearful, I would have felt safe enough to walk into a psychiatric hospital, to call 988, or talk to my friends and family. 

This is why mental health awareness, crisis hotlines, resources, and education are so valuable and important. Although it isn’t so simple and there is no straight forward answer to preventing suicide, these things play an important role towards the path of prevention and intervention. Resources can help those who are struggling be aware of where they can get help while creating more space and options. The more we evolve and accept people’s mental health struggles and realities, the more people feel less alone or trapped in their struggles and know that hope and help is out there. Although we can’t erase people's struggles or cure everyone’s mental health challenges, we can learn how to support those struggling and let them know that they are not alone. Let’s be there for one another, create a safe space for those to open up about mental health, and be aware of resources for not only yourself but for others struggling ahead of a crisis. 

For those currently struggling:

It’s ok if right now you don’t have the space, strength, or courage yet to open up about things you are struggling with, but I hope one day you will find it. You don't deserve to go through your battles silently or alone. Please don’t give up, hope and help is out there- even if it takes time to find it. 

Call/ text 988 or text TALK to 74171 to talk to a trained counselor for support and resources.