Supportive Phrases to Say to Someone Struggling

When someone we care about is struggling—whether it’s with anxiety, grief, burnout, or just an emotionally heavy season—it’s natural to want to say something that helps. But sometimes, in our effort to comfort, we accidentally say things that minimize, dismiss, or pressure them to feel better before they’re ready. The truth is, most unhelpful phrases don’t come from a bad place. They often come from discomfort. Discomfort with silence, not knowing what to do, or with the struggles we can’t fix. But healing isn’t something we can rush someone through. And most of the time, what people need isn’t a perfect solution—it’s presence. They need to feel seen, safe, and supported. They need to hear: “You don’t have to go through this alone.” Below are a few common phrases that, while well-intentioned, can feel invalidating, and more supportive alternatives that create connection instead of disconnection. 

“You might be overreacting.”

When we label someone’s reaction as “too much,” we dismiss the emotional truth of what they’re experiencing. Even if we don’t understand their response, their nervous system is likely reacting to something that feels real and threatening.

Try instead: “Your feelings are valid. Do you want to talk about what’s coming up for you? How can I support you?”

“Just stay positive.”

Toxic positivity—insisting that someone look on the bright side—can feel isolating. Not all pain needs a silver lining in the moment. Sometimes what helps most is permission to just feel.

Try instead: “It’s okay to not feel okay. I’m here with you in this.”

“At least it’s not as bad as...”

Comparing someone’s struggle to someone else’s worse situation doesn’t lessen their pain—it just teaches them to silence it. Pain doesn’t need to be justified to matter.
Try instead: “That sounds really hard. What you’re feeling is completely valid. I’m here for
you.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

When we call someone dramatic, we shame them for being vulnerable. Emotional responses are often rooted in past experiences and internalized fears, not a desire to seek attention. Try to listen to understand and learn.

Try instead: “Something’s clearly weighing on you. I want to understand.”

“Let it go already.”

Healing doesn’t follow a schedule. For many, especially those dealing with trauma or grief, emotions resurface in waves. Pushing someone to move on before they’re ready often leads to them suppressing what they haven’t yet processed.

Try instead: “I know it’s not easy to move through this. Take the time you need.”

“Everything happens for a reason.”

While this may be comforting for some, others may feel dismissed. Pain doesn’t always come with a lesson right away. Sometimes, people just need space to be in it.
Try instead: “I don’t have all the answers, but I’m not going anywhere.”

When You Don’t Know What to Say

It’s okay to not have the perfect words. What matters most is how you show up. A few simple, grounding phrases can offer more comfort than you think:

– “I’m here for you. No pressure to talk.”
– “Would it help if I sat with you?”
– “What do you need right now—or would you rather not decide yet?”
– “You’re not alone in this. I’ve got you.”

Support isn’t about fixing. It’s about being there, listening, and staying present when things feel heavy. Your words can become a safe place for someone to land—if they come from empathy instead of urgency. 

So the next time someone around you is struggling, pause before speaking. Ask yourself: Am I saying this to ease their pain, or to ease my own discomfort? Let that awareness guide you. Because when we choose words that validate and attempt to connect, we help others feel seen—and that, in itself, is healing.